::: An Interesting Perspective of Proverbs 31:10-31 :::
Let me guess, you are a little startled at this topic. I also am. Please have this chocolate bar (Bounty is my favourite) and plantain. Feel free to eat any of them as you read on.
One day, while musing about the different kind of females I had met, I had an epiphany. I discovered that they could be classified into two broad categories: chocolate and plantain. You may be thinking to yourself, “Big deal! Na today? Who no know? Fisayo, chocolate girls are all out, use cover-up, blah, blah ...; and plantain girls are the exact opposite. In fact most 'SU' girls are plantain girls!” Well, you are not entirely correct. Most plantain girls dress well and there are scores of chocolate girls in church. Yes, I said church. So what is my point?
Before I go on, I will like to point out that this is not about marriage (what do I know about marriage?) or dating relationships. Call it an exposition if you will. I have shared these thoughts with a couple of my friends and they think the points are amusing, yet valid enough to develop healthy relationships. Truthfully, our biblical text may not fit exactly since it talks about a wife, however, it will give us insight about a type of females. After all, the wife was once a chocolate (or plantain?) babe. You may want to bring out your bible now, let's find out.
I take that you read that passage. Pro 31:30 tells us that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty evaporates ...”(GodsWord). With that in mind, it will be out of place to try to understand the differences between these ladies based on outward attributes. I will make my comparison based on a few intrinsic qualities and the value added to our lives. People have varying perspectives about value: finance, spiritual, emotional, relationship, intellectual, etc. The underlying belief is that something with a lasting positive effect is added in the long run. I ask that God will “open the eyes of your heart” as we look at those qualities (Amen).
Dignity {vs 25}
“Strength and dignity are her clothing, ...”(NRSV).
Dignity is a sense of your own importance and value. From afar, the chocolate girl looks very confident. Get closer and you will see her low self worth. She keeps working on the outside to get approval. She is a compulsive user of cover-up (excessive make-up); goes to those expensive outings almost every time; must be at celebrity gatherings; must have expensive cell phones she will never use (why buy an iphone and use it just to make calls and send SMS?); tries to look so much like video girls and then wonder why her bride price is negotiated; buys almost everything she sees on FashionTV and never uses the toilet! I bet you can add more to that list. If she has the financial base to maintain this lifestyle, thanks to daddy(ies) or bobos, she will get haughty and live in the illusion that she is of a class. The moment she is stripped of her glamorous artificial wrapper, her weak and malleable core is exposed.
The funny thing is that the plantain girl has many of the material things the chocolate girl has, along with a healthy high self-esteem. She deeply appreciates herself and really doesn't need approval from other people. Just relate with her and you will sense the confidence she exudes. On some days, she may use make-up (many do), dress gorgeously and eat at luxury restaurants; and on other days, maybe plait her hair, wear plain clothing and eat at White House after shopping at Tejuosho market. She is very natural and happy with herself because her sense of worth is not from these outward things. In fact she's more beautiful and fresher on the inside. Just peel plantain and you will understand my point. If you are ready to grow up, a plantain girl will add this value to your life. By her actions, she will make you realize that you were created by the Almighty God for a divine task; and that should be the standard you measure yourself with.
Idleness {vs 13,15-22, 24}
Do you know that plantain is always working? Even if you leave plantain on the floor in your kitchen, it is absorbing things from the atmosphere and releasing freshness into it. Our plantain girl is very much like this. She is always productive, rightly (I said rightly o!) using what she has to get what she needs and leaves extra for others. In fact, “she wakes up while it is still dark and gives food to her family and portions of food to her female slaves” and “... does not eat the bread of idleness”(vs 15, 27 GodsWord). You can't be around her and be idle. She constantly applies herself to personal development and service, and usually makes money in the process.
What does our chocolate girl do? Permit me to illustrate.
Me: “Wassup choco? What are your plans for today?”
Choco: “Well, I'm going to the movies with Emchee (Mgbechikwere). Before then I want to check out the latest at Mary Kay. Oh, I just remembered, I want some chicken and chips for breakfast. Can you help me to ...”
Me: “Sorry to cut you short. You do these things everyday. I was thinking we could go and get some ...”
Choco: “Are you serious? Some DVDs to watch? You are a darling! That's why you are still my friend.”
Me: “Actually, I wanted to say self-help books.”
Choco: “Duh! That is so lame. I don't do stuff like that!”
You get my point, don't you? The chocolate girl may not necessary be idle. She has a lot of activity but her life is not producing anything valuable, except if your idea of life is fun 24/7.
Value Attraction {vs 14}
“She is like the trading-ships, getting food from far away.”(BBE).
Have you taken time to think about what you can take with chocolate? Well, let me help you, ice cream. Do you know of any other thing? If you don't, let's go on. What is the nutritional value of ice cream? It's made basically from milk fat. Is milk fat healthy? Ask a dietician and you just may see how much good a chocolate girl will ever attract to you.
Now, what can you take with plantain? Cassa Granules (Garri), Rice, Beans, Potato, Pounded Yam (it's a lovely combination), etc. You can see for yourself how much value plantain can attract to you. Because she is in your life, some things will just come to you naturally and these things will add different kinds to positive things to you. Bottom line, the plantain girl in herself may not have all the good you need but she definitely will attract all the good you need. What you do with that good is your cup of tea. After all, she's not your baby-sitter!
Wisdom {vs 26}
“She speaks with wisdom, and on her tongue there is tender instruction.”(GodsWord).
At some point in our existence, we all need advice, quality advice that is based on wisdom. Lets look at finance. Everybody knows that there is a global economic recession. Our choco girl also knows but this is her advice: “Fisayo, this is your chance to buy all those gadgets you've always wanted. Prices are crashing everywhere. You finally get a chance to buy me something really nice for my birthday. Don't bother about saving for the dark days, because they won't come. President Obama is about to sign the largest economic bailout in American history - $700-billion. Why don't you even take a trip to cool off all the pressure...” If you can discern the wisdom in her advice, please mail it to me.
Our plantain girl has another take on this. She says, “Fisayo, you need to cut down on your excessive spending. I'm optimistic that things will get better but you must have a back-up plan during these hard times. You're good at doing this, this and this. Have you considered trying to make money off any of them? Do you really need that new laptop or broadband internet? I got this financial tip from Rice, you know he's good with drought-like situations, do you want to try it out?” Now that's what I call advice. Her advice on relationships is also very sound. Since plantain is always in a bunch, she understands the potential of relationship and the rules of harmonious co-existence.
Adaption to Change {vs 25}
“...she is facing the future with a smile”(BBE).
Bad things happen in life, get used to it. God's promise to us is that He will be with us through the tough times. A plantain girl is fully aware of that. In fact, she blossoms in the midst of challenges. When she is in the oil-fired trials of life she will produce dodo; on the hot coals of uncertainty she will be bole; and in the midst of the boiling waters of disappointment, she gives her most nutritious form: ogede sise (boiled plantain).
Our chocolate girl, on the other hand, is best served chilled. Everything must be going well - the A/C must be working; shopping must not stop; she barely manages 212 Sexy, Bulgari Jasmin Noir, Elizabeth Arden or Red Door; DSTV must be up and running; “Don't flash me. If you don't have credit, don't call!”; “...is that your car or a taxi?” Come on sisters, help a JJC brother to complete that list. Even in ordinary sunlight, a chocolate girl will disintegrate.
Perpetuity {vs 11-12, 28-29}
If you plant plantain, you will get more. Likewise, when a plantain woman is cultivated in the heart of a man who loves and understands her, she will multiply in value. The multiplied effect of that value will be seen in whatever the man or herself is a progenitor of. No wonder people say that behind every successful man is a plantain woman. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for a chocolate woman. Just plant her and you just may end up with non-biodegradable waste that will contaminate the man's heart, resulting in very low productivity over time. Did I mention that she doesn't have a life of her own?
Well, this is just theory, I just may be wrong since I don't know much about marriage :).
Faith {vs 30}
“... a woman who has the fear of the LORD should be praised.” (GodsWord).
It seems like the plantain girl has a lot going for her. What her secret? A plantain girl genuinely respects God. She doesn't play church or religion. Her devotion to her Creator guides her actions in many ways than one. I think it's because she tapped a lot from the stem she was attached to before she was plucked. Jesus says it all: “I am the vine. You are the branches. Those who live in me while I live in them will produce a lot of fruit. But you can't produce anything without me.” (John 15:5, GodsWord).
Now, since chocolate is a man-made combination of natural extracts, she doesn't have the life of God. She is relegated to playing church; and involving in religious activities is her perception of devotion. You really cannot expect much from her in this area and it's not her fault.
So, what is your choice? I am sure that many guys will readily want to go for the plantain girl described in our passage. Let me whisper where plantain girls are. Come a little closer, it's a family secret. They are everywhere. The real issue is if you are able to identify them. Just like a child will prefer chocolate to plantain, we (I inclusive) probably have too many chocolate girls as friends because of our relative ignorance and level of maturity. I mean, who wants the added responsibility of peeling, slicing and cooking when we can just unwrap, chop and forget. In fact, I can almost swear that you have finished the chocolate I gave you when you started to read this article, while the plantain is intact. We seriously need God (through His Spirit and Word) to guide us everyday as we meet people because visiting the dentist and having to drink agbo-jedi at the same time is not God's idea of an abundant life (John 10:10).
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